FAQ

Ask away! Mind your manners, nothing inappropriate….but I’m happy to answer your questions.

I’ll post the questions here, with my answers.

1. As a son, brother, uncle, and father I want to assist you in any way I can. I feel that this mission should be told at all levels from grass-roots streets up to ringing the White House door bell. . As we say in Spanish: PALANTE!. Means keep going FORWARD!
2. Do you feel we should be working on cleaning up America’s backyard first? Every country has Dv issues.
3. I have enjoyed reading your blogs, personal comments, and HLN’s on FB… One day, I hope to watch you again soon on the news as well. I wish, you had videos of the news posted on your website, so I can watch you give the news at a later time. I drive a semi here locally in San Diego, CA since last year Aug.
4. What is the best way to offer help to a person you know is in an abusive situation? They don’t think they are being abused if the person isn’t being physically punched, kicked, or whatever.
5. Why does the news media overuse the words “Breaking News” ? Everything seems to be breaking news. Maybe its just the 24 hour news cycle but it seems to be a bit overused in my opinion.

As a son, brother, uncle, and father I want to assist you in any way I can. I feel that this mission should be told at all levels from grass-roots streets up to ringing the White House door bell. . As we say in Spanish: PALANTE!. Means keep going FORWARD!

Gracias!

This obviously isn’t a question, but I thought it was important to share. It touches on something I think is so key in ending violence against women, in empowering young girls- INVOLVEMENT from men. That’s why this website is for men and women, even though the focus is issues directly affecting women and girls.

Ending racism won’t happen if people of color only talk amongst ourselves and ending violence against women, sexism and anything else in the way of full gender equality won’t happen if women only talk amongst ourselves.

If you’re a father and your daughter knows how much your care about her reality, YOU are empowering her.

YOU are also doing your part to make the community safer for all women and girls. At Men Stopping Violence, I work with so many men doing this everyday. They teach classes to men who want to know how to make a difference, starting with themselves.

So I say thank you to “sons, brothers, uncles and fathers” doing their part.

 

 

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Do you feel we should be working on cleaning up America’s backyard first? Every country has Dv issues.

I don’t see ending violence against women as a zero sum game. Working to end the use of rape as a weapon in the Congo doesn’t mean we can’t also work for social change “in our backyard” that leads to safer communities for women and girls here in the United States. When one women or girl is made stronger, we all are. When systemic and cultural violence against women and girls is challenged, no matter where, we are all better for it. Here are some stats about violence against women here and around the world.

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I have enjoyed reading your blogs, personal comments, and HLN’s on FB… One day, I hope to watch you again soon on the news as well. I wish, you had videos of the news posted on your website, so I can watch you give the news at a later time. I drive a semi here locally in San Diego, CA since last year Aug.

First, be safe on the road. I know some truck drivers. It’s draining work. Take good care of yourself and be safe.

I appreciate your kind words and your taking to time to read all those comments. I actually have posted a few clips from newscasts here on the website and plan to do more of that in the future.

You can also catch up online if you ever have a moment: click on “Watch Now’ at the top of our website.

 

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What is the best way to offer help to a person you know is in an abusive situation? They don’t think they are being abused if the person isn’t being physically punched, kicked, or whatever.

I think many people can relate to this situation, wanting to help someone who is being abused, but not knowing how.

This email went on to say:

“I listen to this man at least 3X a week stand on their porch or driveway, and just scream and curse at her, in front if their 4 yr. old daughter and baby son. He calls her fat and lazy and a blankety blank blank. I myself, and several neighbors in this cul de sac have called the police. They come out, but the guy goes back inside before they get there, then goes out and acts like a different person calm and reasonable. They have never arrested him. Meanwhile what is this lady’s 4 year old daughter learning? How can I let her know I want to help? What can we do as neighbors to stop it, its been over a year of this now. Summer is almost here, windows open, and the screaming will be impossible to escape.”

I’m so struck by your wanting to help and by your observation that abuse is NOT just hitting. Too often people just act like the abuse happening to others is NOT happening, or it’s not their business, especially if it’s not physical.

Before I go any further, let me say the safety of the abused person is always the most important concern. Having said that, you are there and I am not, so you must use your judgement. I don’t know him.

Here’s a suggestion. Get a group of men in the community to go over there to talk to him.  He has made this a public issue and they are the public. They can tell him how they are affected by having this yelling going on.

A few things they could say:

“It scares my children.”

“In this neighborhood, we feel like abuse of women in unacceptable, whatever your story about it is. We are here to say that we are not going to stand by and let it happen.”

This is where concerns about victim safety come in. He might take it out on her. So, the men need to be very, very clear that they are not speaking for her or taking her side. They need to practice talking about how they are affected by the behavior in their community.

You’d be surprised how often abusers say they did it because they could, because no one truly called them out on it. Maybe it’s time people in his community called him out on it.

I also have a list of resources on this page for victims of abuse to call.

Also, The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

You may suggest to her, reaching out for their help.

I hope this makes a difference in her life and in your community.

 

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Why does the news media overuse the words “Breaking News” ? Everything seems to be breaking news. Maybe its just the 24 hour news cycle but it seems to be a bit overused in my opinion.

I see this comment often on my FB page. It’s a fair criticism. News channels are fighting to get your attention, trying to convince you they have THE newest information. Of course, it’s dangerously close to becoming white noise- no one will listen or believe you anymore. Can everything be breaking news or is sometimes just news?

Different news organizations, shows and newscasts have different approaches so I can’t answer for everyone. I can say our thinking in the newscasts I’m part of during the day at HLN is that viewers tune in at different times, so what may be old news to you, if you’ve been watching for an hour…IS breaking, developing news to someone just tuning in…particularly on big stories. Hope this helps you understand our thinking. Also hope you keep tuning in. Catch me..for now..at 3pm ET.

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